An Updated Interview with Sayuri Pastel, September 2026
Since 2025, i feel like my music has gotten stronger and a lot more put together, I've been mixing a lot of jazz and jungle as of late.
Tell me about Broken Doll! What was the creative process behind it? What were some general goals/messages you wanted to portray through it? What does it mean to you?
The process of it was basically me going through an extremely rough time, i had lost my grandmother October 2025 and since she was the only woman figure in my life, i felt like i had lost a lot of my womanhood and made me really miss my mother a lot who was murdered back in 2018. I was dealing with a lot of dysphoria, feeling like my family was getting smaller and that it was just me. I had a lot of flashbacks from years ago dealing with trauma that made me question why i went through this so much, to eventually being upset that no one got me help with my mental health as a teen. Even in my last relationship, where my partner practically abandoned me for another woman because of my mental health. It felt like i was some Broken Doll people used to get to where they needed to be and then i was tossed like yesterdays toy. Funnily enough, through all of this i just recently started going to therapy and classes for women who are domestic violence survivors with some online grief groups as well. It was basically an homage to women who are abused and told it's their fault, as well as dealing with grief of a family figure in your life.
When coming up with songs/beats, are there any themes or ideas that you keep pulling from/coming back to? What are they?
A lot of my ideas are mostly from the things i experience in life. i struggle with being able to say how i feel because of people putting me down a lot as a teen and my early 20's (i turned 30 this year) - a lot of the time i felt stuck dealing with trauma of being told I'm being too dramatic or overreactive. i never had the chance to process anything i went through, so a lot of my music ideas are from being able to express myself, and that maybe others can hear it and feel like their not alone either and they're valid to say how they feel and express themselves. I pick a lot of heavy beats because i feel like in those sad moments, bass can help soothe your heart or make you feel something you're struggling to feel. i like to help those emotions come out and give them that safe space to cry and listen.
In past interviews you've expressed an ongoing struggle with agoraphobia and the hardships of developing an IRL presence - how has performing entirely online and establishing yourself as a digital creator helped with socialization/building an audience?
Sadly i'm still dealing with my agoraphobia, but surprisingly I'm finding so many outlets to perform my music and mixes! i feel like this year i found so many online games with DJ events I didn't even know existed, but also I've met a another IRL DJ that has been kinda helping me slowly prepare for an irl show one day! I've been slowly taking it bit by bit to get ready but I'm so nervous!!
Tell me about your music videos!! What is it like to create visuals from your own audio work? What is the process of putting them all together? What inspired you to start/expand into making music videos/accompanying visuals?
Making music videos for my audios is one of my favorite things, i love finding new visuals that have a very interesting meaning or things I've watched as a kid/teen. I love creating experimental visuals, especially for my mixes. I got into it [because] i really enjoyed AMV's as a kid and some of the visuals i love most is anything from 2001 and before. it reminds me of a home i never had and that i can now sit and enjoy.
My biggest achievement of this year would have to be all the Online Music Festivals I've played at as well as finally getting one of those huge DJ controllers!
You've played at a variety of VR festivals since we last talked! What has been a favorite? What made it stand out to you? / What have been some highlights of playing live?
My absolute favorites are when i play for a VRCHAT organization called PJKT, it stands out to me the most because i meet all kinds of new people and talk to them! Plus this community is the nicest group of people i have ever met, and the leaders are extremely creative and experimental as well!!
What is your current big goal? What does the future hold/what are you working towards right now?
Currently my goal right now is to make a vinyl album, i wanted to really make something special for my 30th birthday because i genuinely didn't think id make it this far. When i was 14, all i thought was this was my life forever, and again at 21 i thought it would never get better and i would never get help, but here i am, 30 years old, have a place of my own and finally getting the mental help I needed. My only 2 goals now are to finally enjoy life like i was never able to before and make a sick ass liquid vinyl! As for current projects, there's a new album coming out in October!
Check them out HERE!!
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